In a Future Olympics, America Will Bring Home the “Crybaby” Gold
It has to be. And, said by an American. That the United States has become a nation of crybabies and losers, even when we win. The Olympics in Tokyo is proving to be the testing ground for who we are, and who we will become.
I guess it only makes sense, how could we evolve into anything else? The fate of American sport, business, politics, and society, in general, was a foregone conclusion. It has to do with all those soccer moms driving the SUVs with the bumper stickers proclaiming their motherly tendencies to the T-ball field on Tuesdays. You see, little Johnny and Jenny, it was mom’s job to make sure they were the best. No matter what. Only there was lipstick to smear in the rearview. Best friend Sally is on the phone. And Mommy dearest is late for a nail appointment. And by God, as fate would have it, the $90,000 Range Rover her husband bought her to go get groceries in, it needs gas AGAIN!
Masters of the universe, America’s top excuse-makers, Barbara and Bob Whimsey forced changes on all the rules, you see. In T-ball, the small kids’ training league for baseball, it began with run limits to keep loser kids from being psychologically damaged. Meanwhile, the greatest dead athletes in U.S. history spin like discus throwers in their graves as swimmer Ryan Murphy calls the Russians who beat his ass cheaters in Sports Illustrated. That’s right, the former Olympic Gold winner lost “again” to his toughest competitor Evgeny Rylov in both the 100-meter and 200-meter backstroke events in Tokyo. And the excuse is? Well, it’s Putin’s fault again, who else?
And because Rylov beat the American again, and again, and again, naturally he has to be on some undetectable, super effective, the Russian president himself approved, for enhancing the motherland’s chances to overtake the good old USA! How pitiful, we’ve become when even the top of the athletic heap succumbed to the sickness. Russian athletes, who cannot even see their flag or hear their anthem played, have to bear witness to this foul sportsmanship slopped out by the blithering crybabies our society churns out now. Insert all the lost wars, Jeffrey Epstein scandals, and the steroid pushers in every gymnasium in my country here, and if you’re honest you weep a tear of sadness over all of sport.
It’s not like Evgeny Rylov and all his teammates at Tokyo have not been tested like FBI 10-most wanted fugitives for steroids and other drugs. The fact they are Russian, and with blood in their veins passed down from Czars and Fyodor Dostoevsky is enough, enough for the crybabies to begin to wail. But, let’s leave off with visions of swimming’s greatest ever athlete Michael Phelps with suction cup marks all over his body the last time he competed. In America, after all, an athlete can consult witch doctors or change sex to win. And if we cannot win, then there has to be one hell of an excuse. I will be criticized for saying it, but gymnast Simone Biles may be the poster girl for what went wrong in America. You see, Murphy is not the biggest star who’s been taught to bellyache anytime failure comes along.
Biles, who never attended a day of formal schooling since she was 14 or 15, has been trained as a circus performer to win at all costs. And she excelled more than any other athlete in her sport, winning gold after gold at gymnastics’ most prestigious events since the 2013 World Championships. She obliterated her 2016 Olympics competitors. Then, she wrote a New York Times Bestseller that was made into a special on Lifetime. Biles went on Dancing With the Stars with a professional danger partner, but unthinkably, she lost.
Looking at this magnificent athlete’s biography on Wikipedia, several alarm buzzers went off in my head. The fact that Biles’ parents’ opened a new gymnastics facility, World Champions Centre, instantly made me think of Michael Jackson, Elvis Presley, and an assembly of rocketed stars who became known for their entourages as much as for their talent. The fact Biles’ longtime coach Aimee Boorman left World Champions Centre and Biles for Florida, stuck out too.
“Winning is great, sure, but if you are really going to do something in life, the secret is learning how to lose. Nobody goes undefeated all the time. If you can pick up after a crushing defeat, and go on to win again, you are going to be a champion someday.” — Wilma Rudolph
Reading the story of their split, looking at the body language between them, slicing the PR narrative her brother and others spun out at the time, no one with a brain can buy what went on there. Somebody figured the Biles locomotive had somehow outrun Aimee Boorman, who now works at Evo Athletics in Sarasota, Florida. Adam Biles offered this cool statement to PEOPLE Magazine at the time:
“Aimee no longer works with us at this time. Her family has moved to Florida so that her husband could pursue a job opportunity that he was offered.”
Other clues suggest this split was about a lot more than Boorman slinking away to obscurity from the Olympic stage so her husband could excel as a golf course landscape architect in south Florida. Back in 2016, an LA Times story put out the meme no Twitter that “Simone Biles and her coach Aimee Boorman were their sport’s equivalent to Walter Payton and Mike Ditka.” Let’s face it, Boorman’s dedication to her husband’s sand trap and water hazard placement dreams only lasted until the Netherlands hired her on as an assistant coach for these Olympics. But, let’s get back to Simone and how Hollywood has impacted American sport.
Biles’ most recent self disqualification at the Tokyo Olympics was probably inevitable by the time her handlers decided COVID-19 in America was not as dangerous as it was in Japan. In February 202, Biles was chosen to represent the United States at the Tokyo World Cup taking place on April 4, but USA Gymnastics announced she would not be there because of the pandemic. The Japanese canceled their event on account of this, but Biles would go on to compete take off her sweatpants in a handstand challenge issued by Spider-Man star Tom Holland. You read that correctly.
“Yesterday’s home runs don’t win today’s games.” — Babe Ruth
Next, she appeared in the pages of Vogue Magazine. You know the rest of the story, the reality of the girl’s inestimable talent, and of course the specter of Larry Nassar, the longtime USA Gymnastics doctor who is now serving a sentence of up to 175 years for the sexual abuse of athletes, including Biles. However, what most reading this will not get, is that Simone Biles’ devastating 2021 Olympics failure began the instant she let the system take too much control. The psychology and hype behind American sport, has now prevented Biles from becoming the Usain Bolt of gymnastics. Or, more appropriately, the Wilma Rudolph of gymnastics. The excuse. The stigma of Johnny or Jenny can never fail, caught up with the highest echelon of American sport this week.
At the Olympic Games Biles performed the all-around during qualifications and helped the USA qualify to the team final in second place behind the athletes from Russia. Forgive me (or don’t, I don’t care) but Biles did not face Russian competition in Rio. Remember, all Russian athletes were initially banned from competing in not only the 2016 Olympics. They were eventually allowed to compete, but the stigma of a few athletes being caught doping was made viral and included anything with a beating heart wearing a Russian flag. Talk about mental anguish and pressure. The Russian gymnasts, in particular, were scrutinized as if the world was looking for signs they were androids or clones or something. The Russians were booed. The women’s team came in second. Aliya Mustafina took Gold in the uneven bars and said the doping scandal was no excuse for Russian setbacks.
Fast forward to the 2020 games. Simone Biles fell to pieces in the face of all the expectations from Hollywood, the media, the sponsorship mafia, and the prospect of coming in second or third when everyone demanded first and only first. Take a look at what happened to an otherwise flawless Biles. Suddenly, the American gymnastics legend finally succumbed to all the anxiety and abuse and weighty problems that had once made her the envy of the sports world. And the sob story of sob stories began in the media, no doubt was written by soccer Mom copywriters somewhere in New York, Las Vegas, or LA. I could go deeper but Biles bailing on Team USA is best understood if you research who won the team overall.
In Stockholm, Jim Thorpe rescued mismatched shoes and socks from the garbage to win both the Decathlon and the Pentathlon Gold Medals.
Russia or I should say Team ROC under the Olympic flag, took the gold home to Moscow. But just try and find news about this on the internet! It’s buried underneath American Sunisa Lee’s narrow win over Brasil and Russia in the individual overall is top news for Denver Post and everyone else. Well, top news except for every newspaper in the western world reporting on Simone Biles’ courage over mental anguish. I am truly sorry this amazing girl has had any troubles at all. But in the end, my questioning comes from memories of champions like the legendary Native American Jim Thorpe, who on the day of the 100-meter finals in Stockholm had his track shoes stolen. Thorpe went on to be named “The Greatest Athlete in the World” by Sweden’s King, in a mismatched pair of shoes he found in a trash can. For some reason, I could not resist searching for athletes who overcame physcial and mental hurdles to do the unbelievable. Here is a shortlist.
- At the 1936 Olympics in Berlin, Betty Robinson won Gold in the 100 meters after surviving a plane crash that put her in a wheelchair for several years. Her performance set a new Olympic record. The girl was so badly impeded that she could not even kneel over for the start of the race.
- Sprinter Gail Devers overcame devastating thyroid disease and radiation and went on to win Olympic 100m gold in 1992 and 1996, world 100m gold in 1993, and world 100m hurdles gold in 1993, 1995, and 1999.
- Cuba’s Ana Quirot was one of the world’s best when she suffered 3rd-degree burns over almost 40% of her body, while pregnant in 1993. She gave birth prematurely, and her newborn daughter died. After seven skin graft operations, she returned to action in 1995 and won the world 800m title in Gothenburg.
- NBA legend Jerry West was abused by his father. He went forward to become one of the most epic athletes of the 20th century, and general manager of the LA Lakers, one of the sports’ most successful franchises.
- Legendary NFL quarterback Brett Favre was in a horrendous car accident and had to have 30 inches of his intestines removed as a result of his injuries. In six weeks he would lead Southern Mississippi to defeat Alabama in the NCAA.
- Jim Thorpe was born in what was then termed “Indian Territory”, Oklahoma. He had no birth certificate. His native name was Wa-Tho-Huk, or “Bright Path”. His brother Charlie helped Jim through school, before dying of pneumonia when the two were 9 years old. His mother died in childbirth two years later. He was eventually coached by the legendary Pop Warner but had to return home to work the farm when his father died of gangrene. He later won both the pentathlon and the decathlon in Stockholm, then went on to compete in the NFL and MLB, and was inducted into the Pro Football Hall of Fame. He suffered racism, poverty, injury, and finally died penniless, a victim of depression and alcoholism. He is still considered by many to be the greatest athlete who ever lived.
I could continue, but leaving off with Thorpe seems appropriate here. In an era he grew up in, loss forged winning traditions to rank with Greek heroes.
But, in America today, by God, our athletes, presidents, automobiles, movie stars, Wall Street investors are going to win, or no matter what. Just ask most Americans, you’ll see. Or, we are going to have a cover story that makes a Hemmingway novel seem happy. This is the power of American PR and advertising, and the wickedness that transformed the greatest idea ever into a freak show circus act. We cannot even lose, forget gracefully, but never, ever, ever. Not even in Afghanistan, Vietnam, or when presidents rip off their COVID masks and wave bibles at us. Simone Biles could have been the greatest female athlete in history, if she’d just fallen off the balance beam or slipped a vault, and bowed gracefully at whoever won.
Champions have to have the skill and the will. But the will must be stronger than the skill. — Muhammad Ali
Funny thing, anybody who disagrees that America is run by PR assholes is accused of being an asshole. Take Piers Morgan, who tweeted, “Are ‘mental health issues’ now the go-to excuse for any poor performance in elite sport? What a joke. Just admit you did badly, made mistakes, and will strive to do better next time. Kids need strong role models, not this nonsense.” Is he wrong? And who says so? Oh, soccer Moms everywhere, of course. And, Brady Langmann, Assistant Editor at Esquire thinks you are a Nazi dentist if you think Biles’ copout is a copout. I wonder, was Brady’s mom driving a Land Rover when he was a kid? I bet he got four or five of those cheap trophies coaches are now forced to hand out for mediocrity.
Few people reading this will realize, that today, youth sports are a $15 billion industry in the United States. Overzealous or protective parents are referred to by some as lawnmower parents, people who try to mow down all the obstacles for their kids, and in so doing destroying the reason sports exist in the first place. Some experts have even classified my “soccer mom” euphemism into real categories of sport destroyers. There are the politicians, the excuse-makers, the coach in the stands, the yeller, and the blamer. And all these “enthusiasts” have helped America slide right down the sportsmanship and excellence toilet. I shall never forget coaching a youth baseball team when the Mom of one of my players marched onto the field in the middle of a game, to slap her child who missed a ball at third-base across his face before his teammates and the crowd. She did not drive a Land Rover, her husband opted for the super safe Volvo SUV instead. I cringe at the thought of the boy’s embarrassment now. I wonder if he wrote a book?
On a final note, if you research on the internet Russian gymnast Angelina Melnikova and the term “hardship”, guess whose name comes up repeatedly? I’ll give you a hint. She is sponsored by or has done promotions for Nike, Kellogg’s, Procter & Gamble, The Hershey Company, United Airlines, Mattress Firm, Spieth America, Beats By Dr Dre, Caboodles, Gap, and the Pentagon for her signing of hull plates for the new U.S.S. Enterprise aircraft carrier.
Oh, and finally, the guy who beat America’s poster boy Ryan Reynold’s ass in Tokyo, Evgeny Rylov is a police sergeant of the Moscow Oblast Police of the town district of Lobnya. He does not have any sponsors, as far as I know. Ryan Murphy, on the other hand, has sponsorship deals or partnerships with Bridgestone, Speedo, Goldfish Swim School, and pharmaceutical giant Eli Lilly. And maybe, just maybe we’ve hit on the source of Simone Biles’ overwhelming mental stress here. Maybe those who stand outside the Olympic mat there in Tokyo are the source. Perhaps parents with sports clinics or huge corporate entities that need another win to sell their products are just too much of a drain? I can only imagine this extraordinary young woman creating insurmountable records if she lived in Russia, Mozambique, or even Canada. Who can say? I only know excuses never cut it for me. Excuses never worked back when.
Phil Butler assessment, we are almost done folks, but the newspaper front page will read “America Will Always Be Great, No Matter What”.
