New Strategies: An Open Letter to Vladimir Putin and Sergey Shoygu
Mr. President, Defense Minister Shoygu, I wish you indulgence, patience, and good health in these most trying times. Your country, and mine, are once again locked in a bitter standoff brought about by blatant misunderstanding. There are so many misconceptions on both sides of this latest crisis. If you will allow me, I am sure I can help clarify some key mistakes for you and for key people in my country. I can also offer measurable, sound, and doable advice as to how to avert total war.
I was scanning my Facebook feed this morning and saw a famous venture capitalist named Tim Draper sharing a meme he created containing a tweet by a colleague of his named Evan Lorenz, who is deputy editor at Grant’s Interest Rate Observer. Basically, the famous VC agreed with a tweeted statement by his Bitcoin influencer pal in the media about the Ukraine situation. The tweet below is self-explanatory and a symbolic key for understanding why we are inching toward war.
I know you may not believe your eyes, but as you can see there are people leading my country to believe Russians are the most shallow human beings on the planet. They think just because they have managed to secure themselves a trophy wife from Russia, they naturally assume all Russian women and men are burning to “defect” to the supposedly “free world” we live in over here. They have their following believing the cliches about your country. They would make Mel Gibson’s former wife Oksana Grigorieva the poster girl for all American entrepreneurs to idolize. And as for our capitalist investment gang, I guess you know who wants Russia carved up for distribution to our elites. His retweet of a horrible, horrible insult for Russians, and an altogether bad idea, gave me a really genius one.
For those who read this letter who are unaware, TimDraper is the founding partner of Draper Associates, the famous Silicon Valley early-stage investment firm that put money into things like Hotmail, Skype, Baidu, Tesla, SpaceX, and many other technology ventures including the fraudulent Theranos health tech disaster.
And in defense of Draper, he is not alone in his Russophobic cluelessness about the seriousness of flawed west-east detente today. He is just one of a legion of our technology billionaires, who have begun to believe their own narrative. These liberal order elite pals have set forth to propagandize the rest of us against anybody standing in the way of their utter control. Their self-importance, arrogance, and exceptionalist views have become a kind of religion. I would not go so far as to suggest it’s a Satanic cult, but the Devil is laughing his ass off at where these people are taking my country.
Now that America is by and large a herd of sheeple shepherded by Elon Musk, the Google founders, Bezos, Gates, the legions bought and paid for by George Soros, and a string of so-called “self-made men”, our brand of oligarchs just milk their glowing fame and riches for all its worth. Worshiped like gods, they are. But like similar ones in Russia, the ones you mostly threw out, they really do seem possessed demons. Thankfully, I am here to help you exorcize these American ones, and perhaps a few of those you tossed out of Moscow for stealing. What is needed is an example. Here is a simple plan that will moderate the current, and all further west-east crisis.
President Putin, the Russian people have been forced to ramp up the preparedness of Russia’s nuclear deterrence forces because of the current NATO potential incursion into Ukraine. The White House and the corporate-controlled media in the west have ensured that no matter what happens, any war or killing that ensues will be deemed Russia’s fault. So, a new facet of your strategy is needed. Mr. Draper’s callus and unthinking “bright idea” about treasonous Russians is a dark cloud that hangs over my country. It comes, however, with a kind of silver lining. Now, as to the point of my letter. The venture capitalists have made a good point. There is a need today for more ingenious ideas.
So, if I may. I propose a new Russian strategy going forward. I assure you, it will be more effective than playing the liberal order’s ongoing game of regime change and name-calling. I propose you create a new strategy to be named (in Latin), operation “Culus Lancea” (Or Asshole spear, in English). Here’s a breakdown of the new deterrent strategy which involves Russia’s new NATO designated SSC-X-9 Skyfall (Or Petrel in Russia) nuclear-powered and tipped cruise missile. For those unfamiliar, this new weapon has an unlimited range. The weapon cannot be stopped by current or future ABM systems and can fly indefinitely until its target is accessible or vulnerable. So, in order to stop all this nonsense immediately, Defense Minister Sergey Shoygu should proceed to:
- Order Russia’s cyber-forces to hack into the iPhones, Tesla cars, and other IoT devices used by enemies of the world like Hermitage Capital pirate Bill Browder, Soros, the corporate media owners, and others among our elite billionaires and technocrats who are influencing hundreds of millions to hate Russia.
- Russia’s defense minister should move to revise the target packages of all Petrel weapons immediately to lock onto these devices wherever they are in the world.
- Furthermore, to ensure that not one of these harbingers of World War escapes the ultimate justice of the people of Earth. Mr. Shoygu should hard task all Russian doomsday infrastructure to ensure, in the case of Russia’s defeat, that these and all surviving human and automated operatives, nuclear weapons, conventional land sea, and air forces, biological, and chemical deterrents are keyed on these sanctioned targets.
- The Russian Minister of Defense and other appropriate authorities should also go on the Russian state and private TV to announce to the Russian people the steps that have been taken to get these liberal assholes off the backs of Russians.
President Putin, I also suggest you either request space on international media to announce this decision to target, in perpetuity, the individuals who would send us all to war so that they can profit. You should buy advertising space in Times Square, on Piccadilly buses, in Vogue magazine, and especially wherever these high net worth warmongers eat, drink, shop, read, watch a ballet, or play golf. This will cost some millions, but the people of the world will be both amused, and slapped awake. More importantly, the people behind these endless wars my country has been involved in will be served fair notice of what to expect at the end of the next one.
Mr. President, since you will end up being the master villain no matter what, there is nothing to lose and everything to gain. You see, you have misunderstood the American people, and especially these “capitalists” who have been transformed into little gods. The people of the world will respond positively to strong acts by a strong leader. And, they will laugh too. Sure, some will be aghast that their lords and masters might become be put on the frontlines of this solemnity, but the majority will see the comprehensive justice you and Russia seek. These actions will, in effect, also represent the wishes of billions who have been made to pay with their blood and sweat, so that thousands of billionaires could be created in this world.
As for these henchmen of our destruction? The pencil neck opportunists who made billions off of air? They will finally, and perhaps for good, shut the fuck up and leave Russia alone. Maybe, just maybe, they will be nicer to the rest of us too. It’s about time someone stood up to them. I have witnessed personally, how their fanatical audience bows and scrapes to the creation of their every technological toy. They are the modern equivalent of carnival hoaxsters or the snake oil salesmen who promised miracles to sick people. They are the Epsteins of the world. The power-hungry ghouls that torture truth.
And, if they do not reconsider after your big red bullseye is put on them? Well, to be honest, I’d feel a lot better if I am nuked by either side, just knowing these conceited nincompoops are being lit up too. They are not great, at all. If they were, they’d learn more about Russia, Russian soldiers, and how things generally work outside the California or Wall Street haze they are in.
On a final note, I know you are a fair-minded Orthodox believer, Mr. Putin. I am sure you will authorize Mr. Shoygu to key said targeting so that minimal collateral casualties will result. I am sure that the Skyfall missiles are capable of flying around until these assholes are alone, preferably on the toilet reading about themselves.
I know you will agree, this is brilliant, it avoids war, and it forces our elite fraternity to think about how vulnerable we all are.
