The Nitty Gritty of Anti-Vaxxer Mania and Manslaughter
Let’s not mince words. Let me show you how Alex Jones, Robert Kennedy Jr., and/or your friendly neighborhood psycho probably end up killing people. It’s a short drama I’ll play out, but one that may save a life or two. So, let’s envision a scenario.
Bobby Joe listens to Alex Jones both live and in reruns. He lives in a trailer park outside Tallahassee, Florida. The Remmington 700 BDL Custom Deluxe hunting rifle, caliber 30–06, hanging over his big-screen TV is as much a symbol as a useful sporting instrument. And for my fellow southerners, I guess you know the gun and the Leupold scope the tops it costs way more than his pickup truck out in the back yard. Right now, Bobby Joe is pretty pissed because the new distributor for the truck was out of stock, and he has to wait for his next paycheck to ride the dirt roads again.
This morning, like every other morning on his way to work, Bobby Joe hits the “Listen Now” button on Alex Jones’ Infowars website. Today America’s most famous conspiracy theorist is telling viewers and listeners, “The Global Takeover Is Here — COVID Is A Trojan Horse.” The speel is a familiar one, and Bobby Joe mutters, “Fuck yeah, Alex, you damn straight.” Beneath his shaven and tattoed scalp, the Applebees dishwasher’s brain churns with angry thoughts of big bosses, life’s unfairness, and something he read from the son of a slain presidential candidate from the 60s named Bobby Kennedy. He always liked the name Bobby but driving his sister’s clunker to town. He could not figure precisely why.
Busting through the back door of the neighborhood grill and bar franchise, something Robert Kennedy Jr. said eats at Bobby Joe. As he dons his apron and rubber gloves, he hollers over at the salad prep girl Suzie Watson; “Hey, gal, you still gonna take that poison in your arm dis week?” Suddenly Bobby Joe remembers it, Robert Kennedy Jr. on Twitter informing intelligent people to stay away from vaccines on account of brain problems the vaccines cause. He stops again to chide Suzie; “Hey, did you know them vaccines muddle your neurosis?” He shows Suzie the Tweet right there on his new smartphone that costed more than his BBQ grill.
“Immunologist and former NIH scientist J. Bart Classen analyzed data on COVID vaccine adverse events reported to the UK’s Yellow Card system and found thousands of reports of multiple symptoms that are “clear signals” of neurodegenerative disorders.”— Robert Kennedy Jr. Via Twitter
It’s a daily hazing, you see? Suzie, and ten or a hundred million people like her, they’re afraid, unsure, and because of their personalities easy victims of idiotic, mean, and dangerous peer pressure. She thinks to herself, “Man, if I do get the vaccines, these guys will never let me hear the end of it.” Her mind moves back and forth. She weighs her fears of getting the virus against fears the anti-vaxxers are right. “What if my brains are affected by these experimental drugs?” Doubt, anxiety, a global problem, is weighing down on the individual, moving each of us, and under watchful vested interests, not necessarily in the government or Luxembourg bank. The sharp eyes are in the heads of people whose businesses and notoriety rest on influence.
In the end, Suzie postpones her vaccination appointment. With work and the kids and all, she’s got plenty of reasons, after all. She even caves in to Bobby Joe, who’s also hammering the restaurant manager Fred Wilson, about being a pussy for wearing a mask. It works this way down south where I come from. Don’t any of you deny it. And don’t defy my narrative here when I tell you the obvious happens next in our scenario. Yes, Suzie doubles as a waitress when one of the other ladies is out sick. By the way, Suzie’s grandpa Hiram has a pretty bad heart condition. Hiran worked the shrimp boats out of Appalachacola for years, until time and too many Marlboros caught up with him. A bad heart attack put him into early retirement. Now Hiram does his fishing from a dilapidated dock on Lake Miccosukee. He has an old shack there where he and his brothers played as kids. They’re all gone now, but Hiram clings to the place. Suzie visits him there often, remembering her days out on the lake.
I know, I know, my story is a predictable one. Yes, a redneck customer does stroll into the Applebees grill three sheets into the wind. And you know he refused to put on a mask everywhere in town because it clashed with his bright red Chevrolet ¾ ton Silverado 4x4. For those so unaware or obtuse, the truth is you cannot be badass and fearless and show fear or vulnerability. That’s why when Freddie got to feeling inadequate at work, he threw back a few and headed out to get something to eat. If he’d only known the Applebees special was not therapy for SARS-CoV-2. Sadly, Suzie took off her mask after Bobby Joe mocked her for the 10,000th time. She took off her gloves too, so when Freddie sneezed in his plate, Alex Jones, Robert Kennedy Jr., and many other people became accessories.
That weekend when Suzie carried her grandpa some homemade apple pie out to the cabin, she had no clue. Hiram Watson was only 58 years old when he died, alone, smothered to death by his bodily fluids because his heart could not pump them out when COVID took over. Suzie sat weeping outside the ICU when the doctors came to tell her the news. That same morning Bobby Joe had off from work. The distributor for his pickup had come in at the auto parts store the day before. While Suzie wept, recalling all the good times with her grandpa, Bobby Joe bent over the fender of his truck to install the part. And in the background, Alex Jones harped on about the next insidious phase of their Great Reset and how everyone should avoid the vaccines. Jones hit a commercial break to announce his Green Fiber Capsules, the cureall he is currently pandering.
Now you take this one right between the eyes Alex Jones, Robert Kennedy Jr., Joseph Mercola, and the rest pushing this lunatic narrative, Oh, and let me add Kate Shemirani, the crazy ex-nurse who told protesters in Trafalgar Square the other day, that medical people administering vaccines should be hung like the Nazis at Nuremberg.
I believe that these men have gone beyond the rights guaranteed by free speech into reckless or malicious speech, where the outcomes are obvious. Or in other words, they are killing people without malice (manslaughter). How’s that for free speech?
