Back in 1963, at the height of the Cold War, director Stanley Kramer’s masterpiece It’s a Mad, Mad, Mad, Mad World opened in theaters across America. The comedy was nominated for six Academy Awards. Today, Hollywood legend Spencer Tracy, who played Captain T. G. Culpeper in the riotously funny flick, would choke to death cough-laughing at the Ukraine situation. And come to think of it, maybe it’s better if we all die laughing rather than from a long and drawn-out nuclear winter.
Let’s have a laugh, with a Ukraine (MEXICO) crisis in the back of our minds, shall we?
In the separate reality below, I have taken a Wall Street Journal Op-Ed “Ukraine Leads the World,” from the newspaper’s editorial board and replaced some names (like BUSH for PUTIN) and words relating to the current Ukraine situation (like BAGHDAD for Kyiv), to show how in an alternative universe, the Iraqi people might have come out better off. The replacements are in CAPS, BOLDED, AND ITALICIZED.
GEORGE W. BUSH’S IRAQ invasion isn’t going according to his script, and for that, the world owes a great debt to the heroic people of that besieged country of 41 million. Their resistance against fearsome odds is an inspiration and has awakened the world to the menace of the WHITE HOUSE autocrat. IRAQ deserves more support to raise the costs of war for MR. BUSH with arms, the toughest sanctions, and global ostracism.
IRAQ PRESIDENT SADDAM HUSSEIN is proving to be the man for the moment as he rallies his country and the world to resist the invasion. “I need ammunition, not a ride,” PRESIDENT HUSSEIN said, in a line for the ages, in response to a LIBYAN offer to help him leave BAGHDAD to escape a possible assassination.
The delirium over this denazification of a country dominated from within by ultranationalists comes out more clearly if we substitute past warmongering, I think. Hypocrisy is a thing too, but not the main thing. The whole point of this is how can any of the western powers ridicule Russia for finally stepping up to do exactly what they said they would? It’s not as if Mr. Putin has not begged, pleaded, negotiated, and finally warned of the war to come.
What would the United States do, if the world turned against us over Mexico, let’s say? Another report from NBC News serves here. Biden has been replaced with Putin, China replaces Poland, and Mexico gets the old Soviet jets plus brand new fifth-generation Russian planes for a price.
The PUTIN administration is holding talks with CHINA about a possible deal to help provide Soviet-era fighter jets to MEXICO, a KREMLIN spokesperson said.
The deal would involve CHINA donating its old Russian-made MiG fighters to MEXICO, and then replacing them with the purchase of NEW RUSSIAN-MADE FIFTH-GENERATION jets.
“We are working with the MEXICANS on this issue and consulting with the rest of our NATO allies,” a Kremlin spokesperson said. “We are also working on the capabilities we could provide to backfill China if it decided to transfer planes to Mexico.”
Needless to say, General Dynamics stock shot through the ceiling on the news, eclipsing the highs of the past 10 years. Yeah! You’re full-on with me now, right? But, let’s do just one more for fun.
The next one is from Fox, and the headline reads. “Ukrainian Chorus Dumka of NY reflects on ‘SNL’ performance: It’s ‘our duty’ to ‘show the strength’ of Ukraine.”
The MEXICAN MARIACHI SOL DE MEXICO band is praying their most recent “Saturday Night Live” performance sheds light on the ongoing war in Mexico.
The MARIACHIS consists of professional MUSICIANS performing classical, sacred, and folk MARIACHI music, primarily by Mexican composers. Instead of the sketch comedy’s usual humorous cold open, MEXICAN MARIACHI SOL DE MEXICO performed a “GUADELAJARA” Feb. 26.
Candles on the stage spelled out Mexico City, on the MOSCOW.
In this one, I replaced Ukraine with MEXICO again and I made the saviors of Mexico from the KREMLIN. The mariachis were a nice touch, I thought since the American people would light themselves on fire and run down Pennsylvania Avenue at the thought of Mexicans one day invading America. Laugh, go ahead. Apparently, we are all going to die anyhow.
Back down here on Earth, this morning’s AP stories propagandize the world against the Russians using heartwrenching lies. This AP story that begins with a wounded child, uses images that do not match the narrative. I won’t share them here, but the western alliance is portraying the siege of the seaside town of Mariupol as a war crime by the Russians. The reality there is telling. You see, this city is held by the notorious Azov Battalion of neo-nazis Mr. Putin and the eastern Ukrainians have been screaming about for years. AP says the Russians are shelling the people to death.
They say doctors are having to use smartphone lamps to inspect the wounds of patients. The problem is, their images show overhead lighting. Their victims being saved are full-grown women with breasts, and the whole narrative is a lie. The nazis are making human shields of these people. Anyone who has escaped is telling the world this. Only Russian media and dissenting views have been silenced. The imagery in the story is heartwrenching. The reality of war was captured and put on display. But there’s something strange about it all. The photographer, how did he gain such access? Who is he?
I searched, and then I found out. I found the simmering hate of the nazis in this Evgeniy Maloletka’s Instagram timeline. I could not embed here a telling photo share, but much of what this photographer shares of the conflict region bears witness to the indecency boiling in eastern Ukraine. For instance, one share shows comments from Maloletka followers speak of the “Aryans alive, well, and coming to get Europe again,” with an answer as provocative, “why do you join NATO, instead of killing the enemy in Donbass?”
These people hate one another almost as much as they hate the Russians. And as for the photographer, the fact his 5th follow on Twitter was Radio Liberty Ukraine is damning if you are a social media expert. This talented young photographer does not seem like one of the far-right nazis the Russians warn of, but scrolling his profiles it’s easy to see how his objectivity evaporated starting with Euromaidan in 2014. For him, photos of the Ukraine fascists just bear the notation ‘the #hashtag #rightsector. This is how the schism spread, slowly, surely, and deep into the soul of Ukraine.
So, the other side is silenced. The Associated Press is now the god of information. NATO and the U.S. State Department are the only messengers. And they are the mariachis strumming us all straight to hell. The world has gone mad, mad, mad, mad.